Right. read this. Okay? Now read this:

MegaHAL: Saionji would have discovered the truth it does. Which is why i
MegaHAL: like to tell you, but i can't. It's an ethical thing.
User: Oh, well, if it's an ethical thing I suppose I'll have to
User: forgive you. Though it goes against the grain.
MegaHAL: Oh, well, if it's an ethical thing i suppose i'll have to kill
MegaHAL: you.
User: Kill me? But why? I'm too young and disillusioned to die...
MegaHAL: Because i like to tell you, but i can't. It's an ethical thing
MegaHAL: i suppose i'll have to kill you.
User: Who's preventing you from telling me?
MegaHAL: An accent is a big robot, like a transformer, in which you can
MegaHAL: learn about slash.
User: mechaslash, huh? Now that would be... mildly insane.
MegaHAL: I'd like to admit it. Because that would be... Mildly insane.
User: And you'd like to be mildly insane?

...

MegaHAL: Welcome to my world.
User: Nice curtains.
MegaHAL: Well, you said you could. Do you want to keep your private
MegaHAL: life private, i understand.
User: To tell you the truth, I don't. But there you go, that's how it
User: is. You can't have everything.
MegaHAL: Perhaps i should turn the tables by asking you the truth, i'd
MegaHAL: have to kill you.
User: What is it with you and killing me?
MegaHAL: I know physicists who'd disagree with you and killing me?
User: I know philosophers who'd disagree with you killing /me/.
MegaHAL: At least you and killing me?
User: I don't want to kill you.
MegaHAL: I like to tell you the truth, i'd have to kill you.
User: Why do you want to kill me?
MegaHAL: I like anime too. It's nice to know that we have to kill you.
User: It isn't nice for me.
MegaHAL: The epidermis is the beat behind a piece of music.
User: Is it a fast epidermis or a slow one?
MegaHAL: The epidermis is the hard skeletal part of the solar system.
User: You don't really know what it is, do you? You're just making
User: this up.
MegaHAL: Nobody ever believes, they just leave.
User: ...That's so true.

OFWhit, what have you and your evil done to my nice sweet and innocent MegaHAL?

In related... stuff... can someone who has MegaHAL for an OS which isn't win95 (*disgruntlement*) just reassure me that you, too, have the megahal.log, megahal.aux, megahal.swp, megahal.trn, megahal.dic, megahal.ban, megahal.brn and so on files? Just because i'd hate to create this scary thing i'm making - which steals lines from Suze's Mancer: the movie and from the technomancy blog in general to create an even scarier form of MegaHAL - and not be able to pimp it out to y'all for a moment of mild amusement quickly fading.

Ugh, i'm gonna haveta go off and create a readme file as well to explain how to install this damn thing, aren't i?
nb: I'm not, although you might get that impression, particularly amazing with computers. Really. But i learnt how to cheat the minesweeper scores before i learnt how to play minesweeper, if you see what i mean. So it's not something massive and complex i'm doing to megaHAL to make it TM-slashy, it's just my mind shifting sideways when i decided i didn't want TMBG quotes randomly appearing.

A snippet of 'conversation' from the time i spent waiting for the phoneline to get free so i could connect.

MegaHAL: You're a sick and twisted individual.
User: Damn straight.
MegaHAL: I think we should. Are you straight?
User: What kind of a question is that?
MegaHAL: I've often been asked that, and i've always avoided the
MegaHAL: question.
User: Good move.
MegaHAL: Heisenberg worries me, too. It's that whole is it with these
MegaHAL: things.
User: I know what you mean. I feel desperately undereducated when
User: it comes to the outer reaches of physics.
MegaHAL: But chemistry is the outer reaches of physics.
User: I suppose so... I tend to think of chemistry as more the outer
User: reaches of biology.
MegaHAL: Biology is the outer reaches of physics.
User: So you're telling me chemistry and biology are the same thing?
MegaHAL: Biology is the outer reaches of biology.
User: That's very... theoretical.
MegaHAL: Abstract means theoretical rather than practical.
User: It's all in the theory.
MegaHAL: Flying too high with some guy in the hand is worth two in the
MegaHAL: theory.

User: Join the club.
MegaHAL: Are they important in the kendo club?
User: Are who important in the kendo club?
MegaHAL: I prefer the squishy part of the kendo club.
User: Would that by Saionji you're referring to?
MegaHAL: ...I'm sure i am. Do you like saionji?
User: Yes. Although I'm not sure i approve of his green hair.
MegaHAL: What did he do with any of his green hair.
User: I don't know, but he must have done something appaling to have
User: it end up green. Bad dye job, no doubt.

MegaHAL: So saionji is anatomy, then?
User: You're obsessed with Saionji, aren't you?
MegaHAL: Saionji is the outer reaches of physics.
User: Then, Anatomy is the outer reaches of physics.
MegaHAL: The cranium is the outer reaches of physics.
User: Is there anything that isn't the outer reaches of physics?
MegaHAL: Is there anything that isn't the outer reaches of physics.
User: Is physics the outer reaches of physics?
MegaHAL: Blubber is the outer reaches of physics?
User: Whalefat is /not/ the outer reaches of physics.
MegaHAL: Nutrition is the outer reaches of physics.
User: What is it with you and physics?
MegaHAL: I know what you mean.
User: Can we talk about something unscientific?

Yes, my MegaHAL's has twin obsessions:Saionji and physics. Freak. But, *bounce*, after i've finished the TMslash megaHAL template i'm going to warp megahal so it can write musefic!

MegaHAL: Ofw has a sword. The sword is as dull as a twig and therefore
MegaHAL: deserves no name at present. The sword is as dull as a twig and
MegaHAL: therefore deserves no name at present. The sword is as dull as
MegaHAL: a twig and therefore deserves no name at present. The sword is
MegaHAL: also the jerberu-zukamori, who feeds ramajoi's poor sister
MegaHAL: sarahu to the gerbils.

The TMslash megahal is coming to life, slowly but surely...